Um forgot to mention...

Jun 2, 20144 min read

Deviation Actions

Published: Jun 2, 2014

1.5K Views

_{skin by AESD aesd.deviantart.com

I wanted to keep this separate from the "cold water challenge" thing because this isn't fun...

I have told anyone on here yet (or maybe I did to some, I can't remember now), but... come either Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday, my stepmom is going to lose her job... We found out on Friday that her boss, who is a fucking bitch, went out with some of the girls from work for Happy Hour and got drunk. Well, the boss, Cindy (fucking bitch), told Marci (my stepmom's friend and coworker) that they were going to some cuts around the social worker's job and since my stepmom is paid higher than Marci, my stepmom is gonna get laid off/cut off...

I'm scared...and pissed...and...every emotion under the sun. I'm just scared of being homeless and losing all of our dogs... Right now, that's my biggest fear...being homeless and losing every single one of our dogs... my dad and stepmom are gonna go back home up to Buffalo since her dad and his friend both have cancer... we don't know how long they're going to last and they want to see them again before they die...

I don't know if you guys have ever been in this position before; losing friends and family left and right, probably gonna lose everything you and your family owns, but let me tell you it's not fun. It's some scary shit... I'm trying to find a job, my dad needs to get more dog training jobs as well as a part-time job (and he's got medical problems up the ying-yang) and my stepmom is trying to get another job too...

The problem for me is this: I have absolutely NO job experience, I mean none. I've NEVER worked before! Not that I didn't want to, but my mom NEVER pushed me to get a job...ever... I mean...would YOU ever hire someone who is a total loser, has had no job experience, can't really do shit and has never worked a fucking day in their lives? I sure as hell wouldn't...so why would anyone else hire me?...

As you can tell, I feel like some majority of it is my fault... If I had gotten my fucking licence and a fucking car and a fucking job, I would've been able to help out with shit... but now it feels like it's too late and some parts of it is my fault... I'm just really scared, guys...if I disappear, it's either I'm trying to find a fucking job, get my fucking license and try to be a fucking 23 year old that I was supposed to be 7 years ago, or it's that I've officially just said "fuck it, world, I'm done with you" and killed myself...

I'm not joking. Honestly. I just might do it. Not tonight, but maybe sometime in the near future. And then maybe everyone else would be better off like that. Then maybe I wouldn't be such a goddamn fucking failure...}